Adventures in Haircuts

Got a haircut yesterday at the same place I always get a haircut, however it has now changed ownership for the third time in probably less than a year. I walked in to the salon and there was a lady napping in one of the chairs. I said hello several times to wake her up but was reluctant to nudge her in fear of her waking up in a panic and accusing me of sexual harassment.

Fortunately, after a few minutes, another employee walked out and woke her up. She snapped to, wiping the drool off her chin and walked to the back, while another lady came to the front and I was able accomplish my mission.

The prior owners of this shop delivered more than haircuts, however. The girl who used to cut my hair one time asked if I wanted a massage, whispering in my ear that it would be fun and make me "feel good". I declined, she persisted, but I prevailed in my refusal despite the fact she held the scissors in her left hand and an electric razor in her right hand. (And I was definitely not going to shell out fifty bucks.)

The next time I went there to get a haircut, she upped the menu by coyly whispering how we could give each other a massage, once again promoting how good it would feel AND fun. I politely declined yet started to think she was being a bit too, well, skanky, for the lack of a better term.

I decided to report this to the police, since the storefront did not promote two-way fun massages. I typed up all the data (as well as another report on another possible situation) and drove off to find a police officer. Since it was a late Sunday afternoon, I figured I would find one at a nearby Starbucks. My highly tuned intuition proved correct - there were two police units there. I approached the officer with the most chevrons on his uniform, greeted him and while holding out the report, let him know I wanted to report possible criminal activity in the neighborhood. He immediately put his hands behind his back as a reaction (as opposed to a normal action), wouldn't accept it and told me to go to the Police Station and they would take the report.

Okay, being the good citizen, I drove downtown as any Superhero would. Approaching the desk, I started placing the reports under the bullet-proof window and talking to the officer there. He wouldn't accept the reports at all, instead started giving me flack about this and that. I took both reports back and walked out (after noting his name and badge number).

Not to be stopped, a couple of days later (because I had immediately gotten ill for two days) I went to the Independent Police Auditor (IPA) to relay my concerns - can't someone get a hair cut without being harassed?! Actually, I didn't say that. Anyway, I gave the IPA the reports which gets relayed to the Internal Affairs Unit.

A couple of days later I was contacted by a Sgt. from Internal Affairs and we met the next day at the police station where I once again relayed the whole story (even though it was already in writing). He was very nice, listened without accusing me of anything and let me know what he will be doing to correct the situation.

I followed that up with personal letters to the Chief of Police and the head of Internal Affairs. (Interestingly enough, a few weeks later when I attended a public forum on police records being opened up to the public especially when someone dies from being tased, the Commander of the IA saw me, and, in effect, thanked me for the letter.)

I never found out (nor asked) if the police actually did anything with the hair salon. I still got my hair cut there once a month, was offered a massage one more time but that apparently was taken off the menu thereafter. (What, she doesn't like me anymore?!)

So, coming full circle to yesterday's haircut; new owners, no massage, no fun, just a haircut.

Boring.